Meat of the Day

Go ahead, eat your heart out! Some lovely cuts of heifer offered up by VONS in capital celebration of Valentines Day 2018
This Valentine’s Day USDA Choice Beef Ribeye Steak (boneless) can be had for $9.99/lb as a value pack for your pre-packaged holiday convenience experience
So stoked! From the 1984 movie Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom: Alleged Kali-worshipping high priest Mola Ram holding up the still-beating heart he ripped bare-handed from the bare chest of a ritual victim. Image: www.denofgeek.com

WHOA there! No need to make eating meat hearts (aka meating hearts) into a cult ritual! Instead of watching a film about “child slavery, black magic, and ritual human sacrifice”(wikipedia), you could watch another film franchise also featuring Harrison Ford with the aid of one of these Kleenex boxes for only $2.99, also from VONS:

Provided to you for those sentimental motion-picture moments
Dark/Light Vader / 2017 / acrylic on wood / 8″x7″ / by C.E.

I wonder how much of that 2.99 ea I would get in royalties had I sold the image of my 2017 painting Dark/Light Vader to Kimberly-Clark Worldwide, Inc., makers of Kleenex? Even though I did the painting a year before Star Wars themed Kleenex boxes hit the shelves, the makers of Kleenex effectively beat me in the game of marketing square objects for capital gain.

What the tissue? Tut themed tissue dispenser which can be purchased online for only $24.95

After all, I can’t blow by nose with a painting! However, Design Toscano really hit the nail on the head (of the sar-cough-agus!) with their functional, non-disposable, “hand-painted and exclusive” tissue box cover pictured at right. Duck and cover: this nose is gonna blow! But lets not blow off/chew on our sidekick Chewbacca, who may or may not be carnivorous on Valentine’s Day:

As aside dish: Do you think Chewbacca is a meat-eating space-squatch? By the image above found in a gas station window, I take that as affirmative. Do you suppose he’s singing the National Anthem in Bigfoot?

I don’t know about you, but I’ll bet this is how Mr. President meats his Valentine’s Day:

Straight with a steak to the heart of the meat of the matter of America

For the love of meat, I’d rather just have some Captain Beefheart!

 

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